walking a fine fine line......

What a day....seriously....
It's only 1pm and already, I want to curl under my duvet and call it a day.....

Long story short- three of the four of us ended in tears.....I'm talking full on tears....and it wasn't cool.....in any sense. Some days, being a full time parent is the HARDEST most trying role in the entire Universe. Well not some days, every day.

But today was definitely one of those "I'm the world's worst mother" days....*insert sad face here*.....

I was literally on my knees praying to the Creator/Heavenly Father to help me. Too help me and guide me and to reasuure me that I am making the right choices as a mother to these three little boys- and that somewhere deep within me- I am a good mother. I wonder why there are so many doubts. Do all parents go thru this? Or is it because I'm such an overemotional and sensitive person?

We ended up huddled together on one end of the couch, one boy on each side of me and one on my lap. We just sat there, as tears fell from my face- I hugged them and told them over and over that they are the greatest people in my Life. That I am trying my best to be a good mother to them, and that this journey we're on together-sure is a tough one. It was bittersweet-that it took such a crazy/hectic commotion to get us huddled together- but we enjoyed the calmness of it for over 20 minutes I'm sure.

Upon dealing with major changes in our family dynamics,etc., Doug and I have come to realize where our family is headed. We are withdrawing our children from L.P.SD and transferring over to the HS. RC district-a private district. We are very confident with this decision and know it will be of great benefit to all five of us. =)

On a completely different topic, my gosh...I cannot even tell you how many questions I answer within a single day. Usually there's a question within a question, and then the answer brings about more questions......it sure is tough...lol 
The toughest questions asked from my older two have been- why haven't they met their Grandpa Brian? Where is he? When will they ever meet him? Why did he go to Heaven? Where is Heaven? Can you take a rocket to Heaven? Why is hobbema so far? Why do people become Angels? How come we can't see angels? Where do babies come from? How do they get out of the mom's stomach? How do they get into the mom's stomach? etc...... seriously......I'm stumped.... If anything, it made us realize that we haven't focused on our Faith and instilled our beliefs firmly within our family. Mainly because we thought they were too young to understand. Clearly they have proven that with reason, they can handle some of the truths and real answers.

Father's Day is this weekend, so make sure to let the Fathers/men in your life know how grateful you are for them. I know we have some nice surprises up our sleeves for the man of the house. =) ttyl.