my unexpected path -May 16.11

It took me a while to admit to myself, I am sick.

I was in denial for a very long time- 3-4 months or so. My vision is highly affected it seems, and the grossly intense headaches and high-pressure in my skull is so debilitating; but I have come to terms with this "rare" condition I am living with.

 I have come to terms with alot of things in my Life as well. Maybe one day I will talk about it openly here in my blog-because I'm sure I dont even have "followers" anymore lol but because having since permanently deactivated my facebook account earlier; I still need an outlet to express myself and my thoughts. I hope to blog more frequently and maybe print off all of my entries in the form on a book-for my childrens' sake. They can see that Mom is indeed- as human as the rest! (who I am Kidding, I am supermom! lol)

Because my brain is still moving at its rapid speed-or turtle speed, whichever of the two lol, I find that one of the many "symptoms" I'm dealing with is "forgetfullness" yes..short-term memory loss. The list of un-confirmed sympotoms for IIH/PTC is pretty overwhelming. But I have to make the most of every day, with what I can. I notice that if I do not stop and take the time to proofread anything that I write, then I wouldnt notice the huge number of spelling errors or incorrect word placements, that I use. I've also had too increase the size of the screen resolution on my computer to 150%-just too actually see and not be nose-tip on the screen......its the smallest things that make me realize just how fortunate Life is....it truly is...beautiful..each and every day.....It's sad yet fortunate that it's taken for me too have gotten sick, in order for me to appreciate Life and all that I am blessed with.

I still iron my boys' clothes everyday; cook meals; bake desserts and clean house as best as I can. I find joy in every single task now-as opposed to resenting all that I used to have to do. Who knew that it would be fun, but also too know that on whatever day it is that I am doing all that I am doing-my body is allowing me too. Thats where I'm grateful. Because somedays I can't do a single thing, except lay down and hope that it gets better......and it does-with time....


On the positive side- I've gotten my third tattoo with my absolute favorite quote "Everything happens for a reason." ...because it does...no matter what....its the one sentence I live by....

Another positive note- I'm on the path to regaining my health. Who honestly HONESTLY knew that I would enjoy working out and going too the gym as much as I do now...again, because I dont see it as a horrible daunting task..but as my BODY ALLOWING me too go and endure the activity and not give out on me while doing it. I work on cardio, different circuit machines, stretching, and end with more cardio. It's invigorating and helps me to clear my mind and boy-those endorphins are the BEST drug out there! =)

I will be back.....right now my two year old is telling me "mom, no play computer"....lol so I shall leave you with that! Ciao.