my Creative niche

 I am busting at the seams, and overflowing with a ton of creative ideas, and crafts that I feel so compelled to make; but seriously, once I sit down at table (I have my own crafting section in my home), my mind goes blank!!! I HATE when this happens! I seriously haven't scrapbooked in ages, still need to finish my third son's scrapbook, do our Wedding album, make some Christmas cards,etc. But I just get so....overwhelmed, because I feel so behind in my tasks of crafting! LoL
 I didn't ask for anything too absurd this Christmas, but I really really would like a sewing machine! (again, DOMESTIC GODDESS on the horizon). I never had an interest in cooking, baking, crafting of any sort, and needless to say, ZERO interest in sewing! But now, I know that I have sooooo many ideas for sewing, I haven't drawn any sketches YET (yes, some day I will...or would like too..lol), but a sewing machine would be the *bees knees* if I got one from "Santa" this year! It doesn't even have to be a fancy-smanchy one with a gazillion different stitches, etc. I just want one that can handle my future sewing madman-ness! LoL

 I came across this site one day, and now it's been added to my "follow" list. and OMG.... I know we all have our crappy, down and low self esteem days. But this site is almost GUARANTEED to make any woman/mother feel much much better! I have to dish some deep down truth in this next bit, only because I told myself that this blog is not just for "readers" who I tell myself exist; but mainly for myself. To beable to look back and see how much I've grown and matured. Anyway, I have very low low self esteem. It flucuates daily, and some days are actually great, but on my low days, holy crap! they are very very low. I know that I am beautiful, lucky, blessed,etc. But there's nothing that anyone can say to make me lose the thoughts that replay in my own mind. I know its not healthy, but I do my damn hardest not to dwell. Anyway, I hate that my stomach muscles are shot to shit, and no longer intact (true fact-my doctor said that my abdominal muscles are torn right down the middle, and only way to get them back to normal would be surgery....eeek!) I hate the "second stomach" that I have acquired since giving birth to my three sons. I hate that I have stretch marks ALLLLLL over my body! Like seriously, who knew that pregnancy would cause such horrible changes to ones' body. I hate that I have like three chins, and the frame of my glasses are stretched out abit due to my wide face. Et cetera and so on, this is how it goes. That there is the truth and how I hate my own reflection in the mirror!
 NOW, back to the website I came across. I have never felt more "normal" after checking out this site. It's called The Shape of a Mother and seriously, who ever is the brains behind this operation; I have nothing but complete gratitude and praise for you! I check the site daily for new stories, and just to browse the pictures, and other stories. I can now say that yes, I have like a million stretch marks, but in the end; I gained these "war stripes" by enduring and giving birth to my three sons! I know that I don't have a perfect body, and probably never will. But that doesnt mean I have to let myself feel down about it.
  I have made a COMMITMENT to myself, that come 2010, it will be MY YEAR! To get off my ass, and actually and truly make a difference in my own Life. I will start working out again, because I do miss it. I will do more to be more active, and will make small changes to my diet. I refuse to allow myself to be a "new years dieter"; meaning, making huge resolutions that die out by the end of January. LOL. My husband said that he would do anything to help encourage me, so I've asked him to delve into this journey of a healthier lifestyle with me. To be my partner and to make small goals and changes with me. He has agreed, now to get him to follow through is a different thing altogether LOL.

 I truly hope the above noted website helps other women and mothers feel abit better, if not wholeheartedly, because it sure has helped me to bring my self esteem back up abit!

I am off to drop my older boys off at their Gabba's for the night, and go and do some Christmas shopping with my hubby and our little guy Reecey! (he would go to Gabs too, if he wasn't a "boob man"..lol)

Ciao